This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
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