Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I just googled if crying burns calories
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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