4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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