it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize