There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
