So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
