He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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