how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
