Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize