Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
