My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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