Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
