What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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