come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
