the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
