someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
