I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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