Betty ford says i'm here all night
She said her name was "party"
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
