R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize