She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize