do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
