from now on my penis is your penis
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
