32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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