Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
