So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
my liver is dry heaving
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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