sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
