Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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