First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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