She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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