life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Your cock deserves a montage
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
