she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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