I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
