what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
