Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
