did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Quick, to the slutcave!
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Sorry about my life...
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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