If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
