giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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