spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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