Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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