haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Someone shattered a urinal.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
