dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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