She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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