Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
