i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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