His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
