this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
