I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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