marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
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