her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
