i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
