If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
