No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
