ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Randomize
