So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
When did angry sex become our thing?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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