and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
