Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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