There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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