Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
