That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
