Swine flu. Run for my life!
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
