If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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