This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
