So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
